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Wasting My Summer: The Jurassic Edition

June 14, 2010

So on E3 eve, before the game industry is abuzz news, announcements and previews, I decided there was no better time to jump into the next part of my self-imposed, summer long, life draining experience. This week we have Jurassic: The Hunted. Where the only question is who is being hunted, the dinosaurs, or you!?

I’m just going to come right out and say it: this game actually wasn’t that terrible. Don’t get me wrong, this game isn’t going to win any awards and there are tons of games that are a better choice, but compared to the likes of Cold Stone Creamery and M&M Kart Racing, I may go so far to say that playing this was a breath of fresh air. But I think that speaks more to how playing these games have lowered my standards than it does to the quality of Jurassic: The Hunted.

The shooting and controls are mediocre at best. Graphics are the standard for a Wii game. There was one thing that won me over, and that thing was getting to punch a dinosaur in the face, multiple times. It doesn’t take much to please me. Just allowing me to give a knuckle sandwich to a pre-historic beast is enough to put a smile on my face.

The story basically goes like this. You’re hired to help a woman search for her father who went missing in the Bermuda Triangle. Shenanigans happen and you end up in the Cretaceous period. Since I didn’t play to the end, I’m going to assume that the big twist at the end of the game is that you were actually in the Jurassic period the entire time (after all, it would just be ridiculous to name a game Jurassic: The Hunted and not have it take place in the Jurassic period).

Not even a scene as strange looking as this can shock, or even elicit comment from the stoic Dylan.

In this whole time traveling adventure, never once does your character, Dylan, mention any shock at anything he’s seeing. The first time you are nearly killed by a dinosaur it isn’t ever worth mentioning. When you uncover a broken down steam boat and a Civil War era Gatling gun just sitting around in the jungle it doesn’t ever surprise Dylan. His only comment is about how he needs to get to that boat to find Rock (a member of Dylan’s team). And the animation looks like it was developed at Uncanny Valley Co. But hey, you can punch dinosaurs.

For a taste of what the game looks like, and how strange peoples mouths look when they talk, here is the opening cut scene.

So in honor of playing the first game that wasn’t soul crushingly terrible, I’m bestowing the newly created “Wasn’t a Complete Waste of My Time” award to Jurassic: The Hunted. May all other budget games look to it as a bench mark for quality. Hopefully I can give out more of these in the future. I’m not sure how many more Marines: Modern Urban Combat’s I have left in me.

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